Locks Break Ranks and Anger Sports Gods
It could have been worse. While a 4-4-1 week doesn’t exactly qualify as a loser, it was how the record came about that has Gil Lock busting his bolts with anger. “I’ve tried to explain to Jill that there are higher powers at work here and they must be respected. At Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers, we’ve never gotten behind any of our picks financially because, as soon as we do, we know that the sports gods will get pissed and blow up every selection.” “That was lost on Jill last Friday, as she decided to share some of our expertise with her little friend, Stephanie; one of her pole-dancing colleagues from her days in Vegas. Worse, she gave out my picks! So, while she was 2-1, I got smacked.”
Tough luck, Gil. But if a split week is the price to pay for Jill’s education into the world of handicapping, it’s not so bad. Let’s just hope she keeps her picks to herself this week.
Locks of the Week (Season: 24-9-3)
Gil Lock (7-4-1)
Temple -6 over Army– The Owls have made significant improvement since joining the MAC and have played very well against solid competition while Army failed to fire last Saturday against the likes of Duke.
Iowa -7 over Penn State– Let me just say that I can’t overemphasize this point: Penn State stinks. They get overhyped every August because everyone loves JoePa, then they proceed to fatten up in September with a slate of high school teams. This season, they finally had an early meeting with a contender and got bounced all over the field by Alabama. Look for more of the same in Iowa.
Washington State +28 over UCLA– I don’t think anymore of the Cougars than most, but I’m a big believer in letdowns. UCLA had a huge win at Texas last week and may take State lightly. Even if they don’t, their run-first offense should eat a lot of clock.
Jill Lock (10-2)
BYU -8 over Utah State– The Brigham Youngers have gotten their tushies kicked for three weeks and must be pretty mad and Utah State gives up a lot of baskets, er, touchdowns.
Nevada -21 over UNLV– Now, if anyone knows Vegas, it’s me. My cutie-pie, Colin Kapernik, will run all over UNLV, a school I’ve thought was icky since I watched that bald basketball coach eating his towel.
Vanderbilt +10 1/2 over Connecticut– Really? Connecticut has gotten beat up by the two decent teams it played while Vandy just beat Mississippi.
Pad Lock (7-3-2)
UTEP -15 over New Mexico– I got this pick in first, ahead of my aunt and uncle, as all of the Locks are on the “New Mexico is the worst team in college football” bandwagon.
Oklahoma State -3 over Texas A&M– While neither team has faced Lombardi’s Packers so far, the patsies on the Cowboys’ schedule have been a lot tougher than those that have rolled over for the Aggies. Also like that the game is in Stillwater.
Texas Tech -7 over Iowa State– A hunch play here; leaning on the strength of Tech’s program and the ineptitude of the Cyclones.