Marital Strife As Gil Benches Wife
Our fair haired boy, Gil Lock, of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers, made an executive decision on behalf of his team that will likely carry dire consequences on the homefront. After two straight winless weeks, Gil has replaced his bride, the lovely Jill Lock, as one of his college football experts.
“It wasn’t that tough a decision”, said Gil. “We can’t have someone going 0-6 over two weeks. On top of that, she put my butt on the bench last season when I couldn’t pick a winner to save my bolts. Turnabout is fair play. Fair or not, though, she didn’t take it very well. Looks like the action on the football field will be the only action I’ll be worried about for awhile.”
When asked who would be stepping in, Gil revealed an odd solution. “I have a very loyal follower that I often run into around the neighborhood. Usually he’s in the pork store or OTB and he always stops to talk about college football. So, I decided to give him a shot. We’ll keep an eye on Jill and put her back in the lineup when she gets back on track. Until then, meet Johhny Dudaguanda.”
Locks of the Week (32-18-4)
Gil Lock (11-6-1)
Kansas State -3 over Kansas– The Jayhawks have struggled under new coach Turner Gill. My only hesitation is that the game is in Lawrence but State coach Bill Snyder doesn’t lose Big XII games that he’s supposed to win.
Army +7 over Rutgers– Things get tighter for RichRod as the Wolverines head into the teeth of their schedule.
Iowa – 3 1/2 over Michigan– The bulldogs have to pretty angry over last week’s debacle at Hawaii. New Mexico State is terrible. Lay the wood.
Johnny Dudaguanda (0-0-0)
Georgia -15 over Vanderbilt– I usually try to stay out of the South since my cousin bailed a friend and me out of some legal trouble a few years back, but I learned my lesson after Jill picked Vandy two weeks ago. What a dead piece! They got smoked by UConn; Georgia should kill ’em. Go Dawgs.
Boise State -39 1/2 over San Jose State- Our weekly Boise pick, as the Broncos must run up the score on every opponent.
Nevada-Hawaii Over 74– Really? 74? What is this, a freakin’ basketball game?
Pad Lock (10-5-3)
Southern Miss -14 1/2 over Memphis – So. Miss has put up 40+ the past two weeks, and while they don’t have the ’85 Bears defense, I’m confident they’ll contain dreadful Memphis. Maybe if the Tigers cheated like their basketball team
Alabama-Mississippi Under 55– Bama should still be livid that they let their title hopes slip away last week, and their defense should be wide awake because of it. Expect Saban’s crew to smother Mississippi. Bama’s run offense will also help the cause, eating clock once the lead’s safe.
UTEP +2 1/2 over UAB– Let me get this straight, a 5-1 UTEP team is getting points from 1-4 UAB team with losses to Florida Atlantic and UCF on its schedule ?
Utah -20 1/2 over Wyoming– This is just laughable. Uncle Gil would have Utah at -4 TDs at least. Jump all over this one.