Welcome Back, Gil Lock
There’s something to be said for karma. Just days after banishing husband and uncle, Gil Lock, from the
very handicapping column founded to feature his expertise, Jill and Pad Lock suffered through their worst weekend of the season. Jill, who had been rolling along at a two to one clip, turned in an oh for three stinker; her first of the year. Nephew Pad didn’t fare much better; registering just a single win. Realizing they had ticked off the football gods by mistreating Gil just before the start of the all important Bowl Season, they decided to correct the situation and invite Gil back to the team.
“We never felt right about firing Gil”, said his wife, Jill. “I mean, he’s a sports handicapper. It’s what he does. What else is he going to do, work in a supermarket? He had a bad stretch and we overreacted.” Pad echoed the sentiment, saying, “Uncle Gil has always been good to me. I hated to let him go but Aunt Jill wanted to protect her record. Not much to protect now, I guess.”
Gil, while overjoyed at the news, was still feeling a little low after some personal misadventures took their toll. “I’ve been pulled over a number of times by Jersey State Troopers because I look like the guy who
punched Snookie on Jersey Shore. They usually notice I’m not the guy after I form a few complete sentences but, the last time, I got in over my head.” “I have a buddy who’s a guido”, said Gil, “and this cop pulls me over with him in the car.” “He takes one look at Phil’s hair gel and general, torpedo demeanor and assumes he’s ‘The Situation’”, Gil continued. “I tried to explain that Phil’s nickname is, actually, ‘The Altercation’ and that the officer was mistaken; but he wasn’t buying.” “Finally, the cop, knowing that the real ‘Situation’ has six-pack abs, asked Phil to roll up his sleeveless tee.” “As soon as he saw that Phil’s six-pack was actually a half keg, he let us go.” Asked if he harbored any ill will toward his wife and nephew, Gil was gracious. “Nah. I’m just happy to be back.” And, with that, here’s how the Locks see the Bowl Season:
Locks of the Week(s)
Before we get to their individual selections, we present the Locks’ consensus picks along with this insight from Gil: “The Big Ten is as overrated a conference as I’ve ever seen, yet, they get two BCS bids and two New Year’s games. Now try and tell me the system doesn’t need to be changed.” “We at Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers have no confidence in any Big Ten teams or coaches, especially Penn State and Paterno, and have decided to pick against every one of them.”
Champs Sports Bowl
(12/29-8PM-ESPN) Miami - 2 1/2 over Wisconsin
Insight Bowl
(12/31-6PM-NFL Network) Iowa State +3 over Minnesota
Outback Bowl
(1/1-11AM-ESPN) Auburn -8 over Northwestern
Capital One Bowl
(1/1-1PM-ABC) LSU +2 1/2 over Penn State
Rose Bowl
(1/1-4:30PM-ABC) Oregon – 3 1/2 over Ohio State
Alamo Bowl
(1/2-9PM-ESPN) Texas Tech - 6 1/2 over Michigan State
Orange Bowl
(1/5-8PM-FOX) Georgia Tech – 3 1/2 over Iowa
Jill Locks (22-12)
Poinsettia Bowl
(12/23-8PM-ESPN) California -3 over Utah
Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl
(12/26-1PM-ESPN) Ohio-Marshall UNDER 50
Eagle Bank Bowl
(12/29-4:30PM-ESPN) UCLA -4 over Temple
Humanitarian Bowl
(12/30-4:30PM-ESPN) Bowling Green-Idaho OVER 68 1/2
Sun Bowl
(12/31-2PM-CBS) Stanford +10 over Oklahoma
Pad Locks (10-6)
Meineke Bowl
-(12/26-4:30PM-ESPN) Pittsburgh -3 over North Carolina
Emerald Bowl
(12/26-8PM-ESPN) Boston College-USC OVER 45 1/2
Texas Bowl
(12/31-1PM-ESPN) Navy +9 over Missouri
Sugar Bowl
(1/1-8:30PM-FOX) Cincinnati +10 1/2 over Florida
Alamo Bowl
(1/2-9PM-ESPN) Texas Tech-Michigan State OVER 60 1/2
Gil Locks (11-16-1)
New Mexico Bowl
(12/19-4:30PM-ESPN) Wyoming +10 1/2 over Fresno State
Las Vegas Bowl
(12/22-8PM-ESPN) Oregon State – 1 1/2 over BYU
Armed Forces Bowl
(12/31-12PM-ESPN) Air Force + 4 1/2 over Houston
Cotton Bowl
(1/2-2PM-FOX) Mississippi -3 over Oklahoma State
Fiesta Bowl
(1/4-8PM-FOX) TCU -8 over Boise State
Citi BCS National Championship Game
Thursday, January 7 – 8PM – ABC
Alabama 3 1/2 Texas
Jill: Alabama: Can’t see Nick Saban losing after a month of preparation.
Pad: Texas: Big 12 Football is underrated. The Horns will catch Bama sleeping.
Gil: Texas: Nobody giving Texas a chance; which is my favorite scenario.
Season Record
43-34-1

State would receive a bid to the
season. The anticipation seems to have distracted fans from the fact that both have suffered lapses; especially the 
of playing for a National Championship. While
as the league’s most important offensive player after leading blowout wins over Cal and USC. A slip vs. 

teams on its way to the third round of the D-3 playoffs. Operating behind an offensive line led by junior guard Ryan Lino (right), the Blue Jays have gained more than 400 yards in each game with a balanced attack run by QB Hewitt Tomlin. RB Andrew Kase has posted consecutive 100 yard games, as has WR Dan Crowley. Their last minute heroics vs Kentucky’s St. Thomas More in Saturday’s 31-29 victory put K Alex Lachman in position for a game winning 42 yard FG as time expired. They’ll have their hands full this week, however, taking on a Wesley team ranked third in the nation. If Lino and Company can continue their dominance and give Tomlin enough time to throw, Crowley should turn in another big game and it’s on to the Final Four for the Hops.
however, it was the vaunted Gil Lock of
game, Buckeye fullback Jim Otis blasts over the goal line to put the home team up 48-14. Yet, instead of opting to kick the extra point, Ohio State head coach Woody Hayes decides instead to attempt a two point conversion in order to hang the half century mark on his bitter enemy. Asked after the game why he went for two, Hayes famously responded, “Because they wouldn’t let us go for three.”
Alabama cruised past Arkansas, Mississippi State came up less than a yard short of knocking off #5 LSU in Baton Rouge. The Bulldogs had a first and goal at the Tigers’ 2 yard line but couldn’t punch it in. In Lexington, despite Florida’s thrashing of previously unbeaten Kentucky, All-World QB