The turkey wasn’t the only casualty at the table this week when the Lock family sat down for their holiday meal.  Jill and Pad decided that it was finally time to show the door to their beloved husband and uncle, Gil.  Apparently taking their cue from the administration at Notre Dame, they decided to let Gil know a little of what Charlie Weis has been going through in South Bend.  The clincher was his third consecutive 1-2 weekend that continued to drag down the family record; one that featured Jill’s perfect 4-0 a week ago.  It wasn’t pleasant; Gil was in a cold sweat through most of the meal, but it was necessary.  After all, 1-2 is not what the Locks expected. 

Locks of the Week

Jill Locks (20-8)

Nevada-Boise State over 72.5-

These are two offensive machines that have been very good to me all year.  Boise needs to keep winning in order to secure a BCS bid and Nevada is on an eight game win streak. 

North Carolina -5 over North Carolina State

- The Tar Heels may be playing better than anyone in the ACC right now as Butch Davis has his team clicking on all cylinders headed into the bowl season. 

Clemson +2 1/2 over South Carolina

- I’m thinking Clemson is a dog because the games at South Carolina and they might be caught looking ahead to the ACC title game.  However, the wheels have come off of the Gamecock’s wagon over the last month and they won’t have enough to stem Clemson’s momentum.

Pad Locks (6-4)

Arkansas State-North Texas over 53.5

-  My weekly dose of “Arifemetic” as a tribute to my fallen uncle.  Both teams stink and neither has a good defense.

Arizona -2 1/2 over Arizona State-

  Arizona has got to be pretty pissed at blowing their shot at the Rose Bowl last week.  They’ll take it out on an Arizona State squad that is clearly overmatched.

Texas Tech – 22 1/2 over Baylor

-  Since losing QB Robert Griffin, Baylor has lost 6 of 7 and hasn’t even competed over the last two weeks; being outscored by Texas and Texas A&M by a combined 85-17.  Things won’t be easier this week as Texas Tech looks to pad its Bowl resume.

Season Record (37-28-1)

By Eddie Mayrose

Lock Family Continues Winning Ways Despite Gil’s Bungling

It was another 5-4 week for the Locks as they continue to produce winning Saturdays; albeit by the closest of margins.  Once again, however, it was the vaunted Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers who dragged down the rest of the team.  But for his season long ineptitude, the Lock team would be clipping along at a success rate of sixty-seven percent.

“I just haven’t been a good judge of pace”, said Gil in a hapless attempt to exp[lain his miserable record.  “I can’t put a finger on the hot team or player.  It’s affecting my whole life. I can’t even shop anymore.”  Asked to explain, Gil started to ramble.  “The other day at the supermarket, I bought enough groceries for a month.  At the checkout, I noticed an enormous bag with a big handle, put everything in it and left the store. Turns out it was the manager’s hat.  He was so pissed, he banned me from the store; even after I tried to smooth him over with some cash I’d won in Atlantic City.  It’s been an ugly year.”

Ugly, maybe.  But at least his family has been there to prop him up.  There’s still a few weeks left for Gil to straighten things out.  Here’s how he plans to start.

Locks of the Week

Gil Locks (10-13-1)

Iowa -10 over Minnesota

- In just two short weeks, Iowa football fans have seen their boys blow a shot at the BCS title game as well as the Rose Bowl.  They’ll take out their anger on a Minnesota football team that struggled last week with South Dakota State.

Notre Dame -6 over Connecticut

-  Haven’t backed Notre Dame football all year but something’s got to give for poor Charlie Weis. The much maligned defense of the Irish actually looked a little better last week and UConn football isn’t exactly run and shoot.

Rutgers -8 over Syracuse

- Say this for Rutgers football: They may play a high school schedule to start the year but they always finish strong.  Bad news for Syracuse, one of the worst teams in the nation.

Jill Locks (16-8)
LSU +3 over Mississippi

- LSU’s two losses came in close games against the nation’s #1 and #3 teams.  Ole Miss, on the other hand, has failed to deliver on its pre-season promise.  LSU big.

Nevada – 31 1/2 over New Mexico

-  Here’s some “Arifemetic” for you. Became a believer in Nevada after they cruched Fresno, a very good team.  They’re playing great right now; averaging 50 PG over their seven game winning streak while New Mex  has scored just 16 TOTAL over their last four.

TCU – 31 1/2 over Wyoming

- Every week I look at the TCU line and think it’s too big.  Last week I even went against them as they destroyed a good Utah team.  I won’t be fooled again.

South Florida – 11 1/2 over Louisville

- Ever heard of “The Ville”?  Neither had I until I saw the ridiculous moniker across the chests of the Louisville players last week.  The only thing more ridiculous is the notion of Louisville as a Division I football team.  South Florida has had a tough season but has managed to work its way through injuries to post a very good record.

Pad Locks (6-3)

UTEP – 6 1/2 over Rice

- While UTEP has lost three straight, they’ve scored more than 30 points in each game; led by the nation’s second leading rusher, Donald Buckram. Rice comes in at 1-9 averaging just 17 PPG while allowing 41. “Arifemetic” strikes again.

Ohio – Northern Illinois over 43.5

- Uncle Gil has always been a MAC football fan and it’s rubbed off on me.  Both teams come into the game with 7-3 records averaging better than 24 PPG.  Simple “Arifemetic”  says this one’s going over.

Oregon -5 over Arizona

-  Can’t believe that Oregon will let this one slip away.  Arizona spit the bit last week as far as a Pac Ten title is concerned and will have to rally to get ready for a Ducks’ team that should be welcoming back LeGarrette Blount.

Season Record (31-24-1)

from sallypipes- …so thanks for the tip on Idaho.  It reminded me of a girl I once dated.  Is it possible we’ve met?  I think I went to school with a Gil Lock.  Did you go to San Giamino Junior College?

from 2dollarjd- …and used some of my winnings to buy coffee for the guys at work.  The dopey kid screwed up my order and dripped sweat all over the bag but everyone else enjoyed.  Thanks.

from harrychriscaray- … Holy Cow.  Me and Murphy gonna go out and get some women.

from northstar_CIT- … my boys at Hogs and Heifers got off you when you didn’t show early muscle but I stayed with you even though you failed to fire.  I don’t mind laying heavy wood against a bad streak.  I mean, you couldn’t be a dead piece forever.  That’d be like the Yankees losing three straight to the Royals.

Jill was no slouch, herself, last week as she posted her third straight 2-1 week.  Here are the lovely couple’s selections for Week 8.

Locks of the Week

Jill’s Picks

The BCS rankings were the criteria for all of my picks this week.  I selected teams that needed big, impressive wins to either move up or restore confidence after a poor performance.

Cincinnati -18   over Louisville
Florida -23 over Mississippi State
Boise State – 25 over Hawaii

Gil’s Picks

Alabama -14  over Tennessee- I just can’t see the Vols scoring more than six points against Bama’s defense, especially now that the Tide is protecting a BCS title bid.

Washington + 10 over Oregon- Classic trap game for the Ducks as they face USC next week.  Just ask USC if the Huskies can bite you.

Idaho +15 1/2 over Nevada- Yes, I’m going back to Idaho, Sally Pipes, because they have too good an offense to lose by this many to Nevada.

Season Record- 16-10-1

LOCKS of the WEEK

Jill’s Picks

Minnesota +16 over Penn State

Why is Penn State so highly rated every year?  Are the voters just nice to the coach because he’s been at Penn State longer than the smell of the cow chips?  Whatever the reason, there’s no way they should be favored by this much. Their record is 1-1 vs. college teams and 4-0 vs. high school teams.  Last week they crushed Eastern Illinois of the powerful Ohio Valley Conference.  Eastern Illinois?  In Week 7?  Gimme a break. Paterno’s boys are a fraud, as is the big spread.  Go with the Gophers.

East Carolina - 18 over Rice

Rice is 0-6 and has given up an average of 47 points in three road games.  East Carolina has fared well against tough opponents and Gil has a buddy that says all ECU girls are hot.  Sure.  It’s always a buddy.   He may find himself duct taped to a telephone pole for that one.

Fresno State -19  1/2 over San Jose State-

The pick is Fresno because they play a lot on TV and I like the coach, Pat Hill.   He’s a tough guy who’s not afraid to play good schools,(note to JoePa), and his team always plays hard. They’re home for the first time in a few weeks, Ryan Matthews is one of the best backs in the nation and San Jose State stinks.  Oh, and their bulldog mascot reminds me of our dog, Neckbolts.

Gil’s Picks

Idaho – 9 over Hawaii

I actually had Idaho in a huge win a few weeks ago but my picks never made it into print.  The Vandals have been playing well and, as Jill pointed out last week, Hawaii really stinks.  Even when they’re good, they struggle on the mainland.  I like Idaho by three TD’s.

Arkansas + 25 over Florida

I love going against a team due for a letdown and Florida is just that.  They’re coming off a big win at LSU and they’ll probably be a little cautious with Tebow if they get a lead. Arkansas is no slouch, having knocked off an unbeaten Auburn team last week.  I think Florida wins fairly easy but not by 24.

Washington + 7  over Arizona State

This one’s just a hunch.  Washington’s been playing well and they’ve got some momentum off last week’s win.  Besides, I don’t like anything Arizona since an exchange student from my high school had a beef with some desert muscle who broke his ankle and locked him up.  So, as Klaus von Fremer always says, “Arizona is punks.”  Go with the Huskies.

Season Record : 12-9

Talk about redemption!  Just one week after failing to fire with three dead-piece picks, our hero, Gil Lock, came storming back with a 3-0 weekend to even his record for the season.  He was so focused this week, so on point with his analysis,  that none of his games were close.  Rutgers, a 3 point favorite, crushed Maryland while both of Gil’s dogs, TCU and Virginia Tech, won their games outright.  Knowing how Mr. Lock had been reeling,  I called him early Sunday morning to offer my congratulations.

“Thanks, a lot” was his surprisingly timid reply to my compliments.  “It really wasn’t that big a deal.”  I was confused for a second until his lovely bride, Jill, picked up the extension and straightened things out.  “Of course it was no big deal”, she told me.  “No big deal for him.  I was the one who made those picks!”  ” Do you think it was easy walking around town last week as the wife of the guy who went ohfer?  I was embarrassed to show my face.”

Stunned, I asked Jill how she managed to achieve perfection.  “There’s this guy who hangs around downtown.  Sports nut.  Big fan of the Sacramento Maple Leafs, I think.  Anyway,  he’s always walking around in these crazy throwback sports jerseys and telling people he loves them.  ‘Jill, I love ya.’ ‘Pujols, I love ya.’  ‘Cutler I love ya.’”  ” He even yells it to our dog.”  ‘Neckbolts, I love ya.’  So, I just asked him to take a look at the point spreads and when he screamed, ‘I love ya’, I wrote that team down.”

Clearly humiliated, Gil got back on the line and confirmed the whole story.  “Things just haven’t been the same.  Now she watches football on Saturday and sends me for coffee. I’m so distracted, I can’t even get the order right.  It’s gonna be a long season.”

So, we’ll stick with Jill while she’s hot, (actually, she’s always hot but that’s another story), and we’ll make a decision on when Gil gets his starting job back later in the year.  Who knows?  Maybe we’ll have an open competition.  But, for now, we’ll follow the early muscle.

This week’s Point Spreads

Nevada -3  1/2 over UNLV

 - Nevada finaly gets its hands on a cupcake after tough, non-conference games against Notre Dame and Missouri. Its vaunted offense, led by QB Colin Kaepernick, will finally get a chance to show its stuff.  I like the Wolfpack big.

Mississippi State +6  1/2 over Georgia Tech-

  State comes off a heartbreaker in Baton Rouge and must battle a letdown vs. the Yellowjackets.  It’s more a preference of conference here, as the SEC is clearly better than the ACC.  Take the Bulldogs at home.

South Florida -6  1/2 over Syracuse-

  Never like laying points on the road with a team coming off of  a huge win but can’t resist here as Syracuse is so bad.  Greg Paulus has shown less as a quarterback than he did as a point guard; no small task.  Frosh QB B.J. Walters will give the Bulls an easy conference win.  I also like South Florida because Gil likes Syracuse.

Season Record: 6-6

TCU + 3 over Clemson

When BYU got knocked off by Florida State it cleared the way for TCU to rise out of the Mountain West and claim a BCS Bowl bid.  The # 12 Horned Frogs know it’ll take an undefeated season to get there so they’ll be ready for Clemson in Death Valley.  Take the points.

Rutgers – 3 over Maryland

In the BCS food chain, the ACC and Big East clearly find themselves at the bottom. (Although, I think they’re both better than the Big Ten.)  The two conferences butt heads in this matchup with Rutgers looking to make a post season statement.  I’m not a huge fan of the Sacrlet Knights but they’re Opening Day loss to Cincinnati doesn’t look so bad anymore and Maryland lost at home last week to Middle Tennessee.

Virginia Tech + 2 over Miami

While the Hurricanes have made a huge impression with wins over ranked teams in their first two games, the Hokies haven’t exactly been playing the Little Sisters of the Poor.  They hung with #4 Alabama into the 4th QTR and knocked off # 21 Nebraska last week.  I think Va. Tech is the better team, they’re at home and everyone likes Miami.

Toledo +20  1/2 over Ohio State- I’m letting my bias for the MAC Conference show, I know, but I’m really impressed by Toledo.  They crushed Colorado last week; mainly because their three receivers are lightning quick.  I don’t think the Buckeye corners are fast enough to shut them down and Big Ten teams historically struggle against the spread offense.  It’s also probable that Ohio State will suffer a bit of a letdown after last week’s heartbreaker vs. USC.  They’ll win, but not by three TD’s.

Baylor -10  1/2 over Connecticut- If it isn’t already obvious, I don’t think much of UConn.  They did little to change that opinion last week when they only managed what amounted to a defensive TD vs. North Carolina.  Baylor is a solid team flying under the radar in a conference loaded with Top 25 teams.  I’m counting on the fact that the line is off because no one knows them.  In another conference, Baylor QB Robert Griffin would be First Team.  Go with the Bears.

Army -7  1/2 over Ball State- Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.  I don’t know much about Ball State and even less about Army but I don’t think the Black Knights of the Hudson have been favored by that much over anyone since my Grandpa Rife wore his coonskin coat to West Point to see Doc Blanchard and Glenn Davis.

Season Record 3-3