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The View From The Cheap Seats

November 20, 2009 under Cheap Seats

By Eddie Mayrose

New York Jets In Familiar Position

It’s Groundhog Day for the Jets as the promise of a 3-0 start has been crushed under the weight of a skid that has seen them lose five of cheap_seats_3_their last six and landed them in their annual, mid-season playoff position; outside looking in. This year’s version of  “Same Old Jets” could be a little more interesting than its predecessors, though, as the characters are far more compelling.  Trash talking defenders forced to eat their words because of fourth quarter ineptitude, a color blind quarterback preparing post-game cheat notes for the media and the world’s largest crybaby as the leading man. While the swoon is something all too familiar to their fans, it’s a nice gesture by the Jets to, at least, put a new spin on an old, old story.

Does Punishment Fit The Crime?

Cheap Seats regular and Jets’ season ticket holder, Lou Ricciardi, took his son, Bobby, to Sunday’s Jacksonville debacle and I’m wondering how bad young Bob’s transgression had to be that it required such severe punishment.

CBS Sports Puts Stamp of Approval on Bonehead Play

Was amazed that the play that saw Jaguars’ running back Maurice Jones-Drew take a knee on the one yard line instead of scoring the go-ahead touchdown nthat the Jets were conceding with a minute left in the contest was so well received.  Jags’ coach Jack Del Rio had instructed his star to, essentially, take a dive in order to run down the clock.  As if a field goal was a sure thing and the possibility of a fumble didn’t exist.  This would have been a smart play had Jacksonville been up by a point instead of down.  But, to pass up a certain score that would put you ahead is as ludicrous as the endorsement the play received from CBS analyst Dan Fouts. Had Jacksonville somehow failed to score, Del Rio would’ve had a long week.

New England Patriots’ Bellichick Still A Little Green

While on the subject of coaching blunders, you’d have to look long and hard to find one with results as disastrous as Bill Bellichick’s Sunday night.  Not only did his fourth down gamble hand Peyton Manning the ball just twenty eight yards from a winning score, Belichick also informed his defenders that he has no faith in them. The loss could have serious repercussions come playoff time, especially if it costs New England a home game. When you see a brain cramp like that, you have to wonder if Bellichick stiill suffers some minor effects from his one afternoon as HC of the NYJ.

New York Knicks Mull Signing of Allen Iverson

So now the Knicks are mulling the signing of Allen Iverson which, after ten losses in the first eleven games, seems like a logical, next step  as the season becomes the most disastrous in franchise history.  Selfish, divisive and not nearly as talented as he once was, Iverson is on the verge of becoming the latest act in Donnie Walsh’s expiring-contract sideshow.  Can’t wait for the first time each of Mike D’Antoni’s starters walks on to the court carrying his own ball.

Kelly Tripucka Still An All-Star

Although the Knicks may be completely unwatchable, they’re at least a good listen when Kelly Tripucka is behind the microphone.  His expert analysis and delivery are as smooth as the feathery jumper he displayed during his long NBA career; a career still unjustly snubbed by The Basketball Hall of Fame.

New York Mets Hire Wally Backman to Manage Brooklyn Cyclones

I don’t know much about what caused Wally Backman to step down after just three days as Diamondbacks’ manager in 2004 and even less about what he’s done to address those issues since.  But I’m positive I don’t get to decide that he doesn’t deserve the second chance given him by the Mets as manager of the Brooklyn Cyclones.  I’m also sure that, if Backman does have his life in order, he’s exactly the kind of fiery personality so sorely lacking within the organization.

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Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife With Opinions Week 12

November 20, 2009 under College Football


By Eddie Mayrose

Lock Family Continues Winning Ways Despite Gil’s Bungling

It was another 5-4 week for the Locks as they continue to produce winning Saturdays; albeit by the closest of margins.  Once again, ryno-rife5however, it was the vaunted Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers who dragged down the rest of the team.  But for his season long ineptitude, the Lock team would be clipping along at a success rate of sixty-seven percent.

“I just haven’t been a good judge of pace”, said Gil in a hapless attempt to exp[lain his miserable record.  “I can’t put a finger on the hot team or player.  It’s affecting my whole life. I can’t even shop anymore.”  Asked to explain, Gil started to ramble.  “The other day at the supermarket, I bought enough groceries for a month.  At the checkout, I noticed an enormous bag with a big handle, put everything in it and left the store. Turns out it was the manager’s hat.  He was so pissed, he banned me from the store; even after I tried to smooth him over with some cash I’d won in Atlantic City.  It’s been an ugly year.”

Ugly, maybe.  But at least his family has been there to prop him up.  There’s still a few weeks left for Gil to straighten things out.  Here’s how he plans to start.

Locks of the Week

Gil Locks (10-13-1)

Iowa -10 over Minnesota

- In just two short weeks, Iowa football fans have seen their boys blow a shot at the BCS title game as well as the Rose Bowl.  They’ll take out their anger on a Minnesota football team that struggled last week with South Dakota State.

Notre Dame -6 over Connecticut

-  Haven’t backed Notre Dame football all year but something’s got to give for poor Charlie Weis. The much maligned defense of the Irish actually looked a little better last week and UConn football isn’t exactly run and shoot.

Rutgers -8 over Syracuse

- Say this for Rutgers football: They may play a high school schedule to start the year but they always finish strong.  Bad news for Syracuse, one of the worst teams in the nation.

Jill Locks (16-8)
LSU +3 over Mississippi

- LSU’s two losses came in close games against the nation’s #1 and #3 teams.  Ole Miss, on the other hand, has failed to deliver on its pre-season promise.  LSU big.

Nevada – 31 1/2 over New Mexico

-  Here’s some “Arifemetic” for you. Became a believer in Nevada after they cruched Fresno, a very good team.  They’re playing great right now; averaging 50 PG over their seven game winning streak while New Mex  has scored just 16 TOTAL over their last four.

TCU – 31 1/2 over Wyoming

- Every week I look at the TCU line and think it’s too big.  Last week I even went against them as they destroyed a good Utah team.  I won’t be fooled again.

South Florida – 11 1/2 over Louisville

- Ever heard of “The Ville”?  Neither had I until I saw the ridiculous moniker across the chests of the Louisville players last week.  The only thing more ridiculous is the notion of Louisville as a Division I football team.  South Florida has had a tough season but has managed to work its way through injuries to post a very good record.

Pad Locks (6-3)

UTEP – 6 1/2 over Rice

- While UTEP has lost three straight, they’ve scored more than 30 points in each game; led by the nation’s second leading rusher, Donald Buckram. Rice comes in at 1-9 averaging just 17 PPG while allowing 41. “Arifemetic” strikes again.

Ohio – Northern Illinois over 43.5

- Uncle Gil has always been a MAC football fan and it’s rubbed off on me.  Both teams come into the game with 7-3 records averaging better than 24 PPG.  Simple “Arifemetic”  says this one’s going over.

Oregon -5 over Arizona

-  Can’t believe that Oregon will let this one slip away.  Arizona spit the bit last week as far as a Pac Ten title is concerned and will have to rally to get ready for a Ducks’ team that should be welcoming back LeGarrette Blount.

Season Record (31-24-1)

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Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife with Opinions Week 9

October 29, 2009 under College Football

By Eddie Mayrose

 

Gil Lock Goes AWOL

It was a strange week in the Lock household as husband Gil struggled not only with his own ineptitude butryno rife his wife, Jill’s, continued success.  We tried on numerous occasions to contact Gil and get his selections for this week but he just wasn’t talking.  After a number of calls went unreturned, we turned to Jill for some answers.

“He’s shot this week”, said Mrs. Lock.  “It’s worse than the last time he pulled an ohfer.  At least, then, he didn’t have his wife looking over his shoulder with an 11-4 record.”  “He’s been down all week and breaks out in a sweat at the mere mention of College Football.”  When asked how the CollegeSportsView would eventually get Gil’s picks, Jill proposed an alternative solution.  “Our nephew, Padraig; (they call him Pad), is in from Ireland.  He’s completely taken with American Football and thinks he can do better than Gil.  Hell, he can’t do worse.”

So, while we’re still worried about Gil Lock’s state of mind, we’ve a column to write.  Here are Jill Lock’s Week 9 prognostications along with those of her nephew, Pad Lock.  Enjoy and good luck.

Locks of the Week

 

Jill Lock’s Picks

 

Nevada-26.5 over Hawaii

- Nevada has been very good to me during its four game winning streak and is probably the reason Gil won’t play this week as their 70 point performance vs. Idaho was his third and last flop. Hawaii stinks, Nevada’s hot and I love saying the quarterback’s name.  Colin Kaepernick.  Colin Kaepernick.

Boise State -33 over San Jose State

- Think Boise was pissed at the BCS ratings this week?  Their only shot to bounce back is to score 100 points a week and hope others lose.  Besides, their head coach is such a cutie.  Do they still have the running back that proposed to his girlfriend at the Fiesta Bowl?  Love that.

Missouri – 4 over Colorado

-  It’s not unusual, (I love Tom Jones), for a head coach to bench his quarterback during a bad season.  But his own son?  That’s what Colorado’s Dan Hawkins did so, I’m picking Missouri because Hawkins is such a mean dad.

Pad Lock’s Picks

 

Ohio State-New Mexico State Over 47.5

- This is the kind of improperly valued line that my Uncle Gil taught me to look for.  Ohio State is favored by 39.5 but the Over/Under is just 8 points higher. All you should need is one score from New Mexico State.

North Texas-Western Kentucky Over 66.5

- Here’s another one I learned from Uncle Gil. It’s a matter of a special math he uses called, Arifemetic. The formula is to add up the average points allowed by each team and compare to the Over/Under.  So, using his method, North Texas allows 38 PPG and Western Kentucky 42 PPG.  Add them together and you get, like, 95 or something which is, like 50 points more than 66.5.  Take the over.

Cincinnati- 14.5 over Syracuse

Cincy needs to keep winning and winning big to move up in the BCS.  I’d lay 24.5 here, especially with Greg Paulus at QB for Syracuse.

Season Record- 18-14-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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