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Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife With Opinions Week 8

October 23, 2010 under College Football

Gil Stays Red Hot But Jill’s Not Happy

by CollegeSportsView.com

Last week, we reported in this space that, after two winless weeks, Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers removed his wife, Jill, from the regular rotation of experts and replaced her with a New Jersey torpedo, Johnny Dudaguanda.  “I knew she was going to be ticked but, hey, I have a comfortable couch.  Turns out that things got a little icier in the Lock boudoir as Jill failed to fire on her picks last week, falling short of the 2-1 mark Gil has mandated for her reinstatement.  To make matters worse, our hero turned in his second, consecutive, perfect week while Jill’s replacement, pork store denizen Dudaguanda, went 2-1 to hold his spot in the lineup.  Pad Lock went 3-1 as well, as the Lock contingent recovered from two mediocre weeks and registered an 8-2 record.  “I hope my fans appreciate the sacrifice I’m making.  Jill was a dancer in Las Vegas when I met her while this Dudaguanda guy shaves his back.”  Yes we do, Gil.  Just keep the picks coming. Click here to read more.. »

Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife with Opinions -Week 6

October 7, 2010 under Uncategorized

“It Just Doesn’t Matter”

by CollegeSportsView.com

Had a riotous conversation the other day with our good friend, Gil Lock, of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers. Turns out that, not only did Gil turn in a perfect 3-0 for CollegeSportsview.com last weekend, but he liked five other games, as well, each of which was also a winner.  However, Gil’s perfect Saturday wasn’t enough to help a hapless old friend who just won’t listen.  I’ll let Gil take it from here.

“I have a good friend; much older than I am, who I met way back when I was a teenager.  I was a counselor in training (CIT) at North Star summer camp somewhere in northern New England.  Tripper was one of the counselors there; the kind of guy all the kids liked.  I can’t remember what he did in the winter; I think he drove a beer truck.”  Click here to read more.. »

Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife With Opinions Week 12

November 20, 2009 under College Football


By Eddie Mayrose

Lock Family Continues Winning Ways Despite Gil’s Bungling

It was another 5-4 week for the Locks as they continue to produce winning Saturdays; albeit by the closest of margins.  Once again, ryno-rife5however, it was the vaunted Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers who dragged down the rest of the team.  But for his season long ineptitude, the Lock team would be clipping along at a success rate of sixty-seven percent.

“I just haven’t been a good judge of pace”, said Gil in a hapless attempt to exp[lain his miserable record.  “I can’t put a finger on the hot team or player.  It’s affecting my whole life. I can’t even shop anymore.”  Asked to explain, Gil started to ramble.  “The other day at the supermarket, I bought enough groceries for a month.  At the checkout, I noticed an enormous bag with a big handle, put everything in it and left the store. Turns out it was the manager’s hat.  He was so pissed, he banned me from the store; even after I tried to smooth him over with some cash I’d won in Atlantic City.  It’s been an ugly year.”

Ugly, maybe.  But at least his family has been there to prop him up.  There’s still a few weeks left for Gil to straighten things out.  Here’s how he plans to start.

Locks of the Week

Gil Locks (10-13-1)

Iowa -10 over Minnesota

– In just two short weeks, Iowa football fans have seen their boys blow a shot at the BCS title game as well as the Rose Bowl.  They’ll take out their anger on a Minnesota football team that struggled last week with South Dakota State.

Notre Dame -6 over Connecticut

–  Haven’t backed Notre Dame football all year but something’s got to give for poor Charlie Weis. The much maligned defense of the Irish actually looked a little better last week and UConn football isn’t exactly run and shoot.

Rutgers -8 over Syracuse

– Say this for Rutgers football: They may play a high school schedule to start the year but they always finish strong.  Bad news for Syracuse, one of the worst teams in the nation.

Jill Locks (16-8)
LSU +3 over Mississippi

LSU’s two losses came in close games against the nation’s #1 and #3 teams.  Ole Miss, on the other hand, has failed to deliver on its pre-season promise.  LSU big.

Nevada – 31 1/2 over New Mexico

–  Here’s some “Arifemetic” for you. Became a believer in Nevada after they cruched Fresno, a very good team.  They’re playing great right now; averaging 50 PG over their seven game winning streak while New Mex  has scored just 16 TOTAL over their last four.

TCU – 31 1/2 over Wyoming

– Every week I look at the TCU line and think it’s too big.  Last week I even went against them as they destroyed a good Utah team.  I won’t be fooled again.

South Florida – 11 1/2 over Louisville

– Ever heard of “The Ville”?  Neither had I until I saw the ridiculous moniker across the chests of the Louisville players last week.  The only thing more ridiculous is the notion of Louisville as a Division I football team.  South Florida has had a tough season but has managed to work its way through injuries to post a very good record.

Pad Locks (6-3)

UTEP – 6 1/2 over Rice

– While UTEP has lost three straight, they’ve scored more than 30 points in each game; led by the nation’s second leading rusher, Donald Buckram. Rice comes in at 1-9 averaging just 17 PPG while allowing 41. “Arifemetic” strikes again.

Ohio – Northern Illinois over 43.5

– Uncle Gil has always been a MAC football fan and it’s rubbed off on me.  Both teams come into the game with 7-3 records averaging better than 24 PPG.  Simple “Arifemetic”  says this one’s going over.

Oregon -5 over Arizona

–  Can’t believe that Oregon will let this one slip away.  Arizona spit the bit last week as far as a Pac Ten title is concerned and will have to rally to get ready for a Ducks’ team that should be welcoming back LeGarrette Blount.

Season Record (31-24-1)

Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife with Opinions Week 10

November 5, 2009 under College Football, Point Spread

Pad Lock Nails Point Spreads, Bails Out Uncle Gil, Prompts Return

Despite going AWOL following a winless weekend three days earlier, our boy Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports ryno rifeHandicappers still managed to be the impetus for a positive contribution to the family effort.  His nephew, Pad Lock, stepped in for his missing uncle and came up just a field goal shy of a perfect weekend.  He won easily with Cincinnati over hapless Syracuse and used his special version of mathematics, “Arifemetic”, to predict that the Western Kentucky-North Texas matchup would go over by 50 points.  If only New Mexico State had managed a three pointer in its 45-0 shellacking at the hands of Ohio State, Pad would be greeting his returning uncle with a spotless record.  Much like his Aunt Jill, however, Pad has been asked to stay on and continue his streak.  If only the same could be said for Gil.

It’s been a tough year for Mr. Lock, whose 7-10-1 record is dragging down the otherwise stellar performance of his family,  Jill turned in another 2-1 week; putting her mark at an incredible 13-5.  Asked where he disappeared to last week, Gil was vague.  “I was ashamed of myself.  It was my second winless week.  I’ll give it another shot this week but my confidence is waning.”  Touching, Gil.  Now put down the violin and pick some winners.

Point Spreads: Week 10

Jill’s Locks of The Week

Ohio State Buckeyes +4 over Penn State

–  This pick has to do more with cleanliness than anything else.  Gil took me to Penn State for a game once and it smelled like cow chips all weekend.  Besides, that really old guy that coaches Penn State will probably make everyone wear white again.  I mean, really.  White after Labor Day?  The Buckeyes win by ten.

Boise State -20 over Louisiana Tech

I know it seems like I’m picking Boise every week but, hey, they’ve been good to me.  If they’re going to a BCS bowl they have to win big so I’m staying with them.  And their coach is such a cutie.

Texas A&M – 4 1/2 over Colorado

Can’t believe the lines are so small over Colorado.  Not only do they stink, but the football gods have to still be mad at the head coach for benching his own son.  Meanie.  Last week Missouri was laying just 4 and beat Colorado by 19.  Go with the Aggies.

Pad Locks

Pittsburgh -19 over Syracuse

– Two years ago, uncle Gil took me to the Garden to see Pitt vs. Duke.  Pitt’s LeVance Fields blew up Duke’s Greg Paulus so completely that Coach K took him out of the game.  I remember telling Gil that the beating could only have been more embarrassing if Fields had been allowed to hit him.  Well, that’s gonna happen on Saturday when Pitt makes Paulus wish he was still wearing sneakers.  Pitt huge.

Fresno – 6  1/2 over Idaho

–  If there’s a team in the country comfortable playing on the road, it’s Fresno, who travels every year to play real competition.  Besides, how could I not pick against Idaho after their poor showing vs. Nevada sent my uncle over the wall?  Fresno by two touchdowns.

Troy-Western Kentucky over 67  1/2

– Yeah, that’s right.  Over 67  1/2.  Western Kentucky couldn’t stop an offense if they played with fourteen guys.  Last week they gave up 68 points to a North Texas team that was 1-6 coming in.  Troy might go over by themselves.

Gil Locks

Virginia Tech – 12 1/2 over East Carolina

(Tonight)-  Hate picking against ECU because so many hot girls have gone there but Va. Tech really needs the game.  Their athletes are way better, I love Tyrod Taylor and think that they’ll get a score on special teams.  I also like that the game is tonight because I need to get back on the horse.

Utah -27 over New Mexico-

The forgotten BCS buster, Utah has lost just once since 2007.  They still have TCU on their schedule and slim hopes for a BCS bid if Boise slips so they have to run it up on poor New Mexico.

Connecticut-Cincinnati under 52

– UConn has had trouble scoring against good teams all year and that should continue vs. the Bearcats.  Cincy’s offense is not the same without QB Tony Pike so I don’t expect an explosion from them, either.  I’m thinking along the lines of a 31-10 Cincinnati blowout.

Season Record- 22-16-1

Ahead of the Point Spread: Rife with Opinions Week 9

October 29, 2009 under College Football

By Eddie Mayrose

 

Gil Lock Goes AWOL

It was a strange week in the Lock household as husband Gil struggled not only with his own ineptitude butryno rife his wife, Jill’s, continued success.  We tried on numerous occasions to contact Gil and get his selections for this week but he just wasn’t talking.  After a number of calls went unreturned, we turned to Jill for some answers.

“He’s shot this week”, said Mrs. Lock.  “It’s worse than the last time he pulled an ohfer.  At least, then, he didn’t have his wife looking over his shoulder with an 11-4 record.”  “He’s been down all week and breaks out in a sweat at the mere mention of College Football.”  When asked how the CollegeSportsView would eventually get Gil’s picks, Jill proposed an alternative solution.  “Our nephew, Padraig; (they call him Pad), is in from Ireland.  He’s completely taken with American Football and thinks he can do better than Gil.  Hell, he can’t do worse.”

So, while we’re still worried about Gil Lock’s state of mind, we’ve a column to write.  Here are Jill Lock’s Week 9 prognostications along with those of her nephew, Pad Lock.  Enjoy and good luck.

Locks of the Week

 

Jill Lock’s Picks

 

Nevada-26.5 over Hawaii

Nevada has been very good to me during its four game winning streak and is probably the reason Gil won’t play this week as their 70 point performance vs. Idaho was his third and last flop. Hawaii stinks, Nevada’s hot and I love saying the quarterback’s name.  Colin Kaepernick.  Colin Kaepernick.

Boise State -33 over San Jose State

– Think Boise was pissed at the BCS ratings this week?  Their only shot to bounce back is to score 100 points a week and hope others lose.  Besides, their head coach is such a cutie.  Do they still have the running back that proposed to his girlfriend at the Fiesta Bowl?  Love that.

Missouri – 4 over Colorado

–  It’s not unusual, (I love Tom Jones), for a head coach to bench his quarterback during a bad season.  But his own son?  That’s what Colorado’s Dan Hawkins did so, I’m picking Missouri because Hawkins is such a mean dad.

Pad Lock’s Picks

 

Ohio State-New Mexico State Over 47.5

– This is the kind of improperly valued line that my Uncle Gil taught me to look for.  Ohio State is favored by 39.5 but the Over/Under is just 8 points higher. All you should need is one score from New Mexico State.

North Texas-Western Kentucky Over 66.5

– Here’s another one I learned from Uncle Gil. It’s a matter of a special math he uses called, Arifemetic. The formula is to add up the average points allowed by each team and compare to the Over/Under.  So, using his method, North Texas allows 38 PPG and Western Kentucky 42 PPG.  Add them together and you get, like, 95 or something which is, like 50 points more than 66.5.  Take the over.

Cincinnati- 14.5 over Syracuse

–  Cincy needs to keep winning and winning big to move up in the BCS.  I’d lay 24.5 here, especially with Greg Paulus at QB for Syracuse.

Season Record- 18-14-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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