Gil Lock Shown The Door At Thanksgiving Dinner

The turkey wasn’t the only casualty at the table this week when the Lock family sat down for their holiday meal.  Jill and Pad decided that it was finally time to show the door to their beloved husband and uncle, Gil.  Apparently taking their cue from the administration at Notre Dame, they decided to let Gil know a little of what Charlie Weis has been going through in South Bend.  The clincher was his third consecutive 1-2 weekend that continued to drag down the family record; one that featured Jill’s perfect 4-0 a week ago.  It wasn’t pleasant; Gil was in a cold sweat through most of the meal, but it was necessary.  After all, 1-2 is not what the Locks expected. 

Locks of the Week

Jill Locks (20-8)

Nevada-Boise State over 72.5-

These are two offensive machines that have been very good to me all year.  Boise needs to keep winning in order to secure a BCS bid and Nevada is on an eight game win streak. 

North Carolina -5 over North Carolina State

- The Tar Heels may be playing better than anyone in the ACC right now as Butch Davis has his team clicking on all cylinders headed into the bowl season. 

Clemson +2 1/2 over South Carolina

- I’m thinking Clemson is a dog because the games at South Carolina and they might be caught looking ahead to the ACC title game.  However, the wheels have come off of the Gamecock’s wagon over the last month and they won’t have enough to stem Clemson’s momentum.

Pad Locks (6-4)

Arkansas State-North Texas over 53.5

-  My weekly dose of “Arifemetic” as a tribute to my fallen uncle.  Both teams stink and neither has a good defense.

Arizona -2 1/2 over Arizona State-

  Arizona has got to be pretty pissed at blowing their shot at the Rose Bowl last week.  They’ll take it out on an Arizona State squad that is clearly overmatched.

Texas Tech – 22 1/2 over Baylor

-  Since losing QB Robert Griffin, Baylor has lost 6 of 7 and hasn’t even competed over the last two weeks; being outscored by Texas and Texas A&M by a combined 85-17.  Things won’t be easier this week as Texas Tech looks to pad its Bowl resume.

Season Record (37-28-1)

By Eddie Mayrose

Gil Lock Goes AWOL

It was a strange week in the Lock household as husband Gil struggled not only with his own ineptitude but his wife, Jill’s, continued success.  We tried on numerous occasions to contact Gil and get his selections for this week but he just wasn’t talking.  After a number of calls went unreturned, we turned to Jill for some answers.

“He’s shot this week”, said Mrs. Lock.  “It’s worse than the last time he pulled an ohfer.  At least, then, he didn’t have his wife looking over his shoulder with an 11-4 record.”  “He’s been down all week and breaks out in a sweat at the mere mention of College Football.”  When asked how the CollegeSportsView would eventually get Gil’s picks, Jill proposed an alternative solution.  “Our nephew, Padraig; (they call him Pad), is in from Ireland.  He’s completely taken with American Football and thinks he can do better than Gil.  Hell, he can’t do worse.”

So, while we’re still worried about Gil Lock’s state of mind, we’ve a column to write.  Here are Jill Lock’s Week 9 prognostications along with those of her nephew, Pad Lock.  Enjoy and good luck.

Locks of the Week

Jill Lock’s Picks

Nevada-26.5 over Hawaii

- Nevada has been very good to me during its four game winning streak and is probably the reason Gil won’t play this week as their 70 point performance vs. Idaho was his third and last flop. Hawaii stinks, Nevada’s hot and I love saying the quarterback’s name.  Colin Kaepernick.  Colin Kaepernick.

Boise State -33 over San Jose State

- Think Boise was pissed at the BCS ratings this week?  Their only shot to bounce back is to score 100 points a week and hope others lose.  Besides, their head coach is such a cutie.  Do they still have the running back that proposed to his girlfriend at the Fiesta Bowl?  Love that.

Missouri – 4 over Colorado

-  It’s not unusual, (I love Tom Jones), for a head coach to bench his quarterback during a bad season.  But his own son?  That’s what Colorado’s Dan Hawkins did so, I’m picking Missouri because Hawkins is such a mean dad.

Pad Lock’s Picks

Ohio State-New Mexico State Over 47.5

- This is the kind of improperly valued line that my Uncle Gil taught me to look for.  Ohio State is favored by 39.5 but the Over/Under is just 8 points higher. All you should need is one score from New Mexico State.

North Texas-Western Kentucky Over 66.5

- Here’s another one I learned from Uncle Gil. It’s a matter of a special math he uses called, Arifemetic. The formula is to add up the average points allowed by each team and compare to the Over/Under.  So, using his method, North Texas allows 38 PPG and Western Kentucky 42 PPG.  Add them together and you get, like, 95 or something which is, like 50 points more than 66.5.  Take the over.

Cincinnati- 14.5 over Syracuse

-  Cincy needs to keep winning and winning big to move up in the BCS.  I’d lay 24.5 here, especially with Greg Paulus at QB for Syracuse.

Season Record- 18-14-1