Gil Stays Red Hot But Jill’s Not Happy
Last week, we reported in this space that, after two winless weeks, Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers removed his wife, Jill, from the regular rotation of experts and replaced her with a New Jersey torpedo, Johnny Dudaguanda. “I knew she was going to be ticked but, hey, I have a comfortable couch. Turns out that things got a little icier in the Lock boudoir as Jill failed to fire on her picks last week, falling short of the 2-1 mark Gil has mandated for her reinstatement. To make matters worse, our hero turned in his second, consecutive, perfect week while Jill’s replacement, pork store denizen Dudaguanda, went 2-1 to hold his spot in the lineup. Pad Lock went 3-1 as well, as the Lock contingent recovered from two mediocre weeks and registered an 8-2 record. “I hope my fans appreciate the sacrifice I’m making. Jill was a dancer in Las Vegas when I met her while this Dudaguanda guy shaves his back.” Yes we do, Gil. Just keep the picks coming. Click here to read more.. »
“It Just Doesn’t Matter”
Had a riotous conversation the other day with our good friend, Gil Lock, of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers. Turns out that, not only did Gil turn in a perfect 3-0 for CollegeSportsview.com last weekend, but he liked five other games, as well, each of which was also a winner. However, Gil’s perfect Saturday wasn’t enough to help a hapless old friend who just won’t listen. I’ll let Gil take it from here.
“I have a good friend; much older than I am, who I met way back when I was a teenager. I was a counselor in training (CIT) at North Star summer camp somewhere in northern New England. Tripper was one of the counselors there; the kind of guy all the kids liked. I can’t remember what he did in the winter; I think he drove a beer truck.” Click here to read more.. »
Locks Break Ranks and Anger Sports Gods
It could have been worse. While a 4-4-1 week doesn’t exactly qualify as a loser, it was how the record came about that has Gil Lock busting his bolts with anger. “I’ve tried to explain to Jill that there are higher powers at work here and they must be respected. At Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers, we’ve never gotten behind any of our picks financially because, as soon as we do, we know that the sports gods will get pissed and blow up every selection.” “That was lost on Jill last Friday, as she decided to share some of our expertise with her little friend, Stephanie; one of her pole-dancing colleagues from her days in Vegas. Worse, she gave out my picks! So, while she was 2-1, I got smacked.”
Tough luck, Gil. But if a split week is the price to pay for Jill’s education into the world of handicapping, it’s not so bad. Let’s just hope she keeps her picks to herself this week. Click here to read more.. »
Locks Return for 2010 College Slate
They’re back. The Lock family, Gil, his wife Jill and nephew Pad, have agreed to return to CollegeSportsView.com for another stellar season of College Football prognostications.
When we last left the locks, Gil, of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers, had spent most of the season sullying the family name. It was for this reason that his wife, Jill, started to submit her own weekly selections, as Gil’s picks had become a source of embarrassment. Good thing, too, as Jill was a winner two-thirds of the time. Then, nephew Pad Lock got into the act, helping to bump up the record even further. Perhaps inspired by their performance, even Gil started to come around by Bowl Season.
So, here they are again, fresh off a 2009 campaign that returned an exceptional 55-45-1 record. The season kicks off tonight and, true to form, the Locks are all over the Thursday night action. Good luck!! Click here to read more.. »
Gil Lock Returns For NFL Postseason
Back by popular demand, Gil Lock of Ryno Rife Sports Handicappers ventures out of his collegiate comfort zone to bring you his opinions on this weekend’s divisional round. Those that followed Rife With Opinions during the college football season remember that Gil came under a bit of fire as he struggled for much of the campaign. He finished with a strong bowl season, however, and is willing to share his thoughts on how this weekend’s NFL playoff games will unfold. Here we go.
New Orleans Saints – Arizona Cardinals Under 57
(Saturday 4:30 EST-FOX) Classic contrarian pick here, with a little logic thrown in for good measure. Drew Brees hasn’t played for real in almost a month. He may take a quarter or so to get going while I don’t think the Cardinals will have as much success once New Orleans gets a look at the Green Bay game film.
Indianapolis Colts – 6 1/2 over Baltimore Ravens
(Saturday 8:00 EST-CBS) The Colts have put themselves squarely behind the eight ball by forfeiting their last two games. If they don’t win it all, they’ll never hear the end of it. Baltimore’s secondary isn’t what it used to be, even at full strength, let alone with Ed Reed nursing a sore groin. Peyton Manning should devour the Ravens’ blitzes while Joe Flacco struggles to keep up.
Dallas Cowboys + 2 1/2 over Minnesota Vikings
(Sunday 1:00 EST-FOX) This one will break the heart of my good friend F-r-a-n-k Tufano, but I don’t see the Vikings recovering from their stumbling finish. Dallas may be the hottest team in football right now and absolutely has the better QB. Look for a big day from Jason Witten.
New York Jets +7 1/2 over San Diego Chargers
(Sunday 4:30 EST-CBS) Now, before Fireman Ed offers to take me out to dinner, let me say that San Diego wins this one. I just don’t think they have the firepower to run away and hide from the Jets’ defense. The Chargers incredibly tall receivers will force the Jets into adjustments that should open up the running game for San Diego.